Redneck Haiku (Japanese Poetry for your real rednecks)

[XMEN Iceman]

Redneck Haiku

Damn, in that tube-top
You make me almost forget
That you're my cousin.

Naked in repose,
Silvery silhouette girls
Adorn my mudflaps.

A painful sadness.
Can't fit big screen TV through
Double-wide's front door.

In WalMart toy aisle,
Wailing boy wants wrestling doll.
Mama whups his a**.

Unemployment's out,.
Hey, maybe I can get on
Disability.

Distant siren screams.
Dumb-a** Verne's been playing with
Gasoline again.

Flashlights pierce darkness.
No nightcrawlers to be found.
Guess we'll gig some frogs.

Joyous, playful, bright
Trailer park girl rolls in puddle
Of old motor oil.

Seeking solitude,
Carl's ex-wife Tammy files for
Restraining order.

I curse the rainbow
Emblazoned upon his hood.
God damn Jeff Gordon.

Tonight we hunger.
Grandma sent grocery money
To Jimmy Swaggart.

Set the VCR:
Dukes of Hazzard Marathon
At 9 O'Clock.

White noise, buzzing static.
Call Earl. Satellite dish
needs new descrambler.

Sixty-five dollars
And cyclone fence keeps me from
My El Camino.

In early morning mist,
Mama searches Circle K for
Moon Pies and Red Man.