CORPORATE LESSONS
Corporate Lesson #1 A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is
finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of
arguing over which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives
up, quickly wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs. When she
opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she
could say a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel that
you have on." After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the bathroom, her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great!" the husband says, "Did he give you the $800 he owes me?"
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information >pertaining to credit and risk with
your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Corporate Lesson #2 A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road. He stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her habit to open and reveal a
lovely leg. The priest had a good look and nearly had an accident. After
controlling the car, he stealthily reached over and slid his hand up her
leg. The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced
himself to remove his hand. Changing gears, he let his hand slide up her
leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?" Once
again the priest apologized, "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to
retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129. It Said, "Go forth and seek,
further up, you will find glory."
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Corporate Lesson #3 A sales representative, an administration clerk, and
the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I
usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you just one."
"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. In
astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in
Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless
supply of piña coladas, and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone. "OK,
you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want
those two back in the office right after lunch."
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Corporate Lesson #4 A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and
do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not?" So, the rabbit sat on the ground
below the crow and rested. All of a sudden a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Corporate Lesson #5 A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to
be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't
got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and
found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest
branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Corporate Lesson #6 In Africa, every morning a gazelle awakens knowing that it must outrun the fastest lion if it wants to stay alive. Every
morning, a lion wakes up knowing it must run faster than the slowest
gazelle or it will starve to death.
Moral of the story:
It makes no difference whether you are a gazelle or a lion: When the sun
comes up, you had better hit the deck on the run.
Corporate Lessons!
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