Passports: A Rant

[Ambush Bug]

"First, let us kill all the lawyers." --William Shakespeare

OK, the situation is pretty simple. I have no passport. Mrs. Bug has a passport, but it's expiring soon and we both wish to hit Mexico sometime next winter. Since we don't plan on taking a ship or driving to our destination, we have to fly, and that means having a passport.

Mrs. Bug's passport expiration date is inconveniently during her set of chemotherapy. Meaning, get it done before chemo (and the loss of hair) or wait another eight months after the start, which is too long.

So, we figured we'd get it done now, pre-hair-loss.

We went to the State Department website, got the appropriate forms, filled and printed those out ahead of time. We went to a local photographer who advertised in the phone book as doing passport photos. Two sets of photos, neat as you please.

We got our ID papers: birth certificates, SSN cards, driver's licenses, the works, and had everything all nice and packed together as we hit City Hall.

You'd think we were set! Ha!

First up: in total opposition to the State Department's assurances, the local government would not take plastic. So we withdrew cash from a local machine, got in line again, and were told they wouldn't accept THAT either. Reasoning: they had to send the application through the mail, and it's long-standing Post Office tradition that sending cash through the mail is a Bad Idea(tm).

I'm fine enough with that. It's logical. There are corrupt postal employees. But why, for crying out loud, can't the local government take the cash and issue their own check?

Heh, didn't get an answer for that. So we drove home, got the checkbook. Wait in line. Present documentation again, with checkbook in hand.

Snotty Bureaucrat: "ZOMG! THESE PHOTOS AREN'T RIGHT!!1ONEONE"

Us: "Er, we got 'em done at a passport photo place in town. Here's the receipt."

SB: "THE BACKGROUND IS GREY!"

Us: "So?"

SB: "IT HAS TO BE WHITE OR OFF-WHITE!"

Us, looking at the photos again, thinking: "Huh, looks pretty off-white to me."

Now really, why this SB had to be so, er, snotty, I have no idea. You have someone else take these photos because the photog is supposed to know the rules. We are not photographers. If we were, we'd have done it ourselves, instead of paying twenty-five bucks for a guy with a nice camera, a proper shooting room, digital printing, and Government-Approved Passport Photo-Cutting machines on hand. No kidding, I looked at the machine, it even had a stamped seal on it.

So at this point, Mrs. Bug is hopping mad. We figured, what the hey, we'll send in my photos since mine were deemed 'barely acceptable' by the SB, and have the photog re-do Mrs. Bug's as those would 'obviously be rejected'.

Oy, the mouth on this lady.

I suggested to her that perhaps she should contact this place of photography business and inform them of the proper settings. Oh no, can't be done, 'we're a government agency!' Verbatim quote. Well, since she can't do anything, howsabout she provide me with the rules, preferably in hard copy? I was expecting a no there, but I should have known better. Of course she had papers to push! So now I have a neat copy of said rules.

...I used to wonder what drove people to go postal and shoot up federal places of employment. Now I know why. I'm a bit steamed myself, but nowhere near as peeved as Mrs. Bug. See, I'm still gonna have hair if my photos get rejected by the State Department, so I can re-take at any time. Not so for Mrs. Bug.

We were even nice to this bureaucrat, too. Both of us worked with the public, and we know it's best to be nice to clerks. We also expect 'em to reciprocate, which did not happen here. It was as if we had somehow Descended From On High to Personally Ruin Her Day.

Gads. Now I'm holed up in the lair and Mrs. Bug is upstairs blowing off steam. I have been instructed to stay down here for a while, and I know better than to go upstairs for a couple-three hours. She calms down better if she's alone.

Perhaps things might have gone better if we'd simply blew up in that broad's face. I know I was brimming with smart-ass comments, and I'm pretty sure Mrs. Bug was too. Ah well.

[BlackRider]

hrmmm... my personal rule is this: If they are rude to me, I give them 30 seconds before I return the favor.

I've been in sales for 7 years and there is no excuse for a rude clerk PERIOD. I've done 14 hour days in the garden center business dealing with P.O.'d old lady after P.O.'d old lady, and even the last grumpy woman of the day got a cheerful smile and a "Hello! How are you today?".

[XMEN Gambit]

Couple of questions come to mind...

"What happens if you submit these photos anyway? Is there an objective test for "off white," and if so can we run that now, please?"

And of course the old standby "I'd like to speak with a supervisor, please."


To paraphrase Ethel,
We don't care, we're the government. We don't have to.

[Atheist]

Or you could do what I did... Just download the forms, fill them out with the necessary adjunctive paperwork, get the photos taken, write a check and put it all together and just overnight it. I did without the 'passport office' help and mine came back in about 3 weeks. This is for renewals of course - issuing a new passport is (by my understanding) a little trickier.

In any case, I just sent it directly to the government office and everything came back fine.

[Sharpster]

This is for renewals of course - issuing a new passport is (by my understanding) a little trickier.

Yes it is... Luckily I read this post and got a heads up. I didn't realize it was so difficult to get a passport since 9/11. My friend Aimee said they sent their papers and stuff out in June, didn't get them until DECEMBER!

This puts me in a predicament now because for my buddy's graduation present his parents said we can go on this cruise to the Bahamas!!! I need a passport though... And the cruise is at the end of June. So yeah. I think there is a way to get around this if I like show my birth cert. and SSN. I'll have to find that out, and soon..

[Spinning Hat]

You need to pay the extra money NOW to get that thing rushed through. I did mine the normal way, and it took 3-4 weeks or so. But I went to the local DMV / Government center, and had the photos done right there, new birth certificates printed, and SSN card ready to be inspected. The entire process took about 30 minutes. I feel your pain AB, and the frustration dealing with City employees... And the funny thing? hennepin county took the 'ole plastic as payment too. I think Rochester is still a little too backwards...

[DarkKnife]

According to recent reports as long as you have paperwork saying youve applied for a passport now you can go to Mexico. Just be prepared for extra security measures when you reenter the country. (I hear it involves rubber gloves.)

[XMEN Ashaman DTM]

Actually, if you go to the government website that handles passports (state.gov, I think), they'll have a link that lets you print out a document showing the status of your passport application.

That is, if the people that are supposed to scan the paperwork in actually do it. I've found that the government is not exactly the best at doing these kinds of things.



And Bug: believe it or not, you undoubtedly ran into one of those government types that think they have "power" because they get to make a decision. By all means, complain to their supervisor, then just move up the chain (branch, division, director, etc). The thing is, most people don't take the time to complain, and when a complaint gets sent up one or two pay grades above a person, said person experiences a brief instance of The Wrath of God.

Government agencies definitely like to have a good public image. The people that manage things at the top like to be seen as if they are doing a good job by their peers.

[DarkKnife]

Plus what boss dosent like to chew out a subordinate for their subordinate's behavior.